I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
