What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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