I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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