I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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