She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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