Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
