I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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