i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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