she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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