I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
