i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
