Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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