oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
