i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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