I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
