my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
