Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize