He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
