I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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