Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
