Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
