A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Watching her eat just hurts me
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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