She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
