She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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