How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
