This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I've blown a few things in my day
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
