and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
