I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i think i scared a bird with my dick
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
