I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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