My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
