Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Randomize
