your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I love black thongs
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
