Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
