My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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