i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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