is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
