Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize