I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you win again, gameday.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
