HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
