nut hugger
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
