i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
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He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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