Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
These tits shall not be calmed
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize