Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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