erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
