i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
