I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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