I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pole danced in your parka.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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