do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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