Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
