it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
