i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He? As in you personified your dick?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
