i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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