I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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