I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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