I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Vodka?
Forever.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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