The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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