she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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