Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
