I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize