PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
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and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
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There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Randomize